dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You've changed since you got that strap on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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