I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
