we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So apparently I’m into choking now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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