So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
