sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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