I wanna bring you to show and tell
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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