shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
