$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
