at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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