the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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