now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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