how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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