Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
