I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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