margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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