I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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