i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
