theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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