I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
FUCK WHALES
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
