your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
