thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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