All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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