and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize