so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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