Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
