Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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