"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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