he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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