Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
