Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
