Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We don't watch enough power rangers
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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