Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
