My girlfriend figured out who you are.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
