Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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