I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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