eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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