dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
