We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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