It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
