you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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