Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
