she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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