Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize