He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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