And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize