I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
