Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So vagazzling was a success
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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