my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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