I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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