why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
