Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
is that a dick in a sweater?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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