You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Houston, we have a squirter
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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