my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
