omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want her autograph on my taint
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
not ubering you a puppy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
