She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
