I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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