She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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