tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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