So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
