she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
babies were throwing up all over the place
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
