I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize