Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
