I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
