Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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