shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
