um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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