wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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