I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize