I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
