That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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