is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
