All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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