You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
