2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
