so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
