trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
