I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
