I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she told me i tasted like america
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
