i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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