No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
