well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
